On Tour

Hi, everyone! I'm just dropping in to let everyone know the band will be on tour for the next two weeks. When we get back, we'll have some great new giveaways of band merchandise and our new book. If you're not already a groupie, sign up, so you'll have the latest info when we return.

Tour: Home!

Home

After yesterday, I hope it’s obvious to everyone why we don’t let Lazaro post.

The El Paso gig was fantastic! Not only did we draw the local crowd, but we had some of our Las Cruces fans follow us over, and we had some from Juarez, too. Just to see us!

We packed the club and the fire marshal had to come out twice! Bo seduced him the first time, and we thought that would be an end to it, but we knew stronger measures were needed when he came around the second time. Ricky says let’s just hope no one finds the body.

After the gig, we went to Juarez and partied until sunrise.









What a crazy place! If they have any laws, we sure weren’t aware of them. Bo, Vic, and Lazaro were like kids in a candy store. I told them afterwards that maybe we shouldn’t be so hard on humans, since it’s obvious that some human societies have more silly rules than others, and some places are actually quite friendly to our lifestyle. They just burped and went to sleep. That’s males for you.

Ricky was very distressed about our foray into Mexico, but I made it up to him when we returned. Maybe when all this is over I’ll send Ricky on a nice vacation someplace. Then again, he’d probably spend all his time just worrying about what we were up to, so it’s probably best we all stick together.

We’ve got a gig tonight and I need to go get ready, but the tour is essentially over. We had a great time, met lots of cool humans and other creatures, saw new places, and sampled new cuisine. It was a lot of fun and I can hardly wait for Ricky to book the next one!

You’ll be doing that soon, Ricky, won’t you?

Ricky?

Damn, where did he go?

Tour: Day Twelve

Fort Stockton, Texas

Stupid band won’t let me post all tour! I hate them.

El Paso gig was good.

Fort Stockton sucks.

Tour: Day Eleven

El Paso, Texas

The tour is almost over, and a good thing because I’m at about the end of my rope. That breakdown south of Albuquerque was a disaster, but at least I was able to salvage something for us in Las Cruces.

We had a small incident soon after our arrival, with Vic insisting we go to Carlsbad after the gig and Nevin arguing with him about whether or not bats were “nice” animals. It got ugly and Nevin disappeared in a huff. I found him at the Natural History museum and persuaded him to return. It wasn’t too hard to do, since the museum featured desert wildlife, including snakes and lizards. Nevin is more into birds and bunnies than reptiles.

Last night’s gig went off well, even though it was a Monday. I used Twitter and Facebook to get the word out to the New Mexico State students and they came out and had a great time. To the best of my knowledge, no one is missing or anemic after last night, so I figure it was a success.

Our gig tonight is in El Paso.









It was just a short drive from Las Cruces, so I slept in this morning. Nevin and Kalila had waffles, coffee, and strawberries waiting for me when I woke up, and were very nice to me. Makes me wonder if there are things going on I don’t know about. I sure hope not.

Tour: Day Ten

Las Cruces, New Mexico

Well, we finally got out of that miserable hell-town. Kalila did something to the mechanic to make him think it was Monday, and he had the bus ready by the end of the day. Ricky thought it was too late to get on the road, but we were ready to get out of there, so we loaded up and started south.

Once the sun went down, it was a nice drive. I sat and looked out the window for a long time, enjoying how nice and dead everything looks out here in the desert.

Toward morning, we reached Las Cruces. I woke Ricky up so he could tell Calvin where we were going, then I went to bed.









Ricky was able to get us a make-up gig for tonight. It won’t be as good as the Saturday we missed, but it’s better than nothing, and Ricky thinks he can get us a good turnout from the local university. He’s doing something on the computer to let them know about tonight’s gig. He says maybe the news will “go viral,” whatever that means. I just hope it doesn’t mean weird germs in my meals. Some viruses have a funny taste to them.

I’ve heard there are some big caves not too far from here, and they’re full of bats. I suggested a pilgrimage, but Ricky thinks we don’t have time. Humans are so particular about such things. Makes you wonder about their priorities.

Tour: Day Nine

Still Stranded, New Mexico

Can you believe it? The mechanic won’t work on our bus today! Apparently his god thinks some days are better than others, and Sundays aren’t for working. He’s the only mechanic in this miserable village, and Ricky says even if there were other mechanics, they wouldn’t be working either.

Just look at this place!

















Humans are a very strange species. How can they live like this?










Ricky is mad. He says cancelling gigs is bad for our publicity, and what Bo is getting up to with some of the rural livestock is even worse. Vic has taken to hanging around the local cemetery, our werewolf Calvin has been seen going native with a pack of local coyotes, and Nevin just sits around looking at all the dust and sighing a lot. None of us is quite sure what Lazaro has been doing, but there are rumors, and they aren’t pretty.

I’m fed up with this situation. I’ve requested a meeting with my legal counsel to see if there’s a loophole to the “no magic” part of the contract. I know I can’t repair the bus by magic, but can I inspire the human mechanic to get off his butt and fix it? This is an important question and I intend to get an answer before this morning is over.

Tour: Day Eight

Stranded in New Mexico

I’m afraid we’ve encountered a new difficulty.

We’re stranded south of Albuquerque. The tour bus broke down and the “no magic” rule means none of us can fix it. We were able to get it towed to a small town nearby, but we’re really in quite a desolate place and we won’t be able to make our gig in Las Cruces tonight.









Ricky is very upset, and in fact the whole band is angry, but I’m not sure being negative is going to help matters. We’ll just have to hope the nice man at the auto shop can repair the bus quickly.









This has all been good for Bo, since everyone is too busy being worried about the tour bus to continue being angry at him for his party at the tramway last night. I’m not sure of the details, but it would appear that he and some of his new friends rode up and down the mountain several times, even though the tram was closed. They were caught by a security guard, who accused them of stealing the car and was mad that they had no clothes on. Bo pointed out that they hadn’t stolen the tram car because there it was, right where it was supposed to be, attached to the cable that runs up the mountain. The security guard called him a smart-ass and Bo agreed. Then Bo turned on that incubus charm of his and…well, an hour later another security guard came along and was quite surprised to find the first one with no clothes on, riding up and down the mountain with all the others.

Ricky says it’s a public relations disaster. Bo disagrees, and I’m not sure what to think.

I just want our tour bus fixed.

Tour: Day Seven

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Wow, so much drama these last few days over a little pool party! With everyone so pissy about it, I kept things a little quieter last night—just two girls after the show and none between sets. Ricky was so reassured that he didn’t even notice I managed to get a quick breakfast romp with one of the hotel maids. I’ve been told that they’re off limits, but I’m sure that’s just another of Ricky’s pruderies. I don’t know what Kalila sees in him, except that she’s a bit of a prude herself, so I guess it all works out.

So we’ve got another gig here tonight and I’m pretty excited. One of my girls from last night works for the tram and she says she can get us up there after hours. I wonder how many of us can get into one of those little cars, and how much we can make it swing? I have a feeling it’s going to be a fun time!

Tour: Day Six

Albuquerque, New Mexico

That whole mess in Pagosa Springs is in the hands of our legal counsel and she seems to think we’ll be able to get away with just paying a fine. I called a band meeting once we arrived in Albuquerque, and everyone acted like they understood what I was trying to tell them about state laws, policies of particular establishments, and the need to look out for their reputations. But I’ve told them all this before, and each time they seem to interpret the whole message as me telling them to be on time for gigs.

So anyway, here we are in Albuquerque, and I’m just hoping things go smoothly tonight.

Tour: Day Five

On the Road

Never trust an incubus! After that wild party Bo had in the hot springs, Ricky had to get us out of Pagosa Springs fast. He got us onto the tour bus, then talked on the phone with our lawyer for half the morning while Calvin drove us toward the state line.









I could hardly sleep at all between Ricky's talks with the lawyer and his breaks to yell at Kalila. Of course, she was in her travel bottle and ignored him. It would’ve been pretty funny to watch Ricky yell at a bottle if I wasn’t so damn tired.

Now Ricky is on the computer reading the Colorado state legal code, so maybe I’ll be able to get some sleep. Lazaro and Bo are already in their bunks, and I’ve asked Calvin to keep an eye out for a clinic or bloodmobile so I can get a meal. I’m not very hungry right now, though. Not all the humans at the resort were at Bo’s party last night, and I took advantage of that fact.

Ricky should learn to be more appreciative. We don’t have a gig tonight, so we can hide out wherever our lawyer thinks it’s safe, and with Bo napping, Ricky can read about the laws of Colorado without being distracted by those stupid movies.

Tour: Day Four

Pagosa Springs, Colorado

We had quite a drive today, all the way to Pagosa Springs, Colorado. But it was such lovely country that it was hard to complain. I immediately fell in love with this little town, with its green hills and hot springs, surrounded by snow-capped mountains. Could anything be more beautiful?










Bo wanted to check out the hot springs right away, but we were running late and Ricky said no. So we went to the venue and took a look around. Ricky kept a very close watch on Bo so he wouldn’t seduce the manager like he did in Santa Fe. Bo was upset about this, but said nothing. I could tell he was plotting, but Ricky didn’t want to hear anything I had to say. Typical human behavior, I’m afraid. I’ve never met a human who wanted to know the truth if there’s a delusion they’ll like better.

Next we got checked in at the resort on the river.












Ricky made us all promise to be on our best behavior. We did very well before the show, but after we returned, Bo hosted a big party down in the hot springs. He wasn’t supposed to do that, I think. I’m also quite certain the rules say humans must wear clothes.

Ricky was very upset.

Tour: Day Three

Santa Fe, New Mexico

We arrived in Santa Fe several hours ahead of our setup time. Since it was a nice, windy day, giving me lots of energy, I made Ricky take me to see the sights.

For starters, Santa Fe isn’t really that old, only four hundred years. Second, there sure are a lot of churches! It’s a good thing Vic is nocturnal and couldn’t go with us because he would’ve had a meltdown. We saw a church with a labyrinth out front and another that had a spiral staircase supposedly held up by a miracle.












I told Ricky it’s not a miracle and I offered to explain the magic behind it, but he got weird and said some things should remain mysteries. That’s humans for you!

I had a great time shopping on the plaza, especially at the leather and jewelry shops. I felt a little bad for Ricky after awhile, having to carry all those bags while I went from store to store and examined the silver and turquoise jewelry for sale on the plaza, but Calvin wasn’t with us and I sure wasn’t going to carry my own bags.

Finally we went back to the hotel, got everyone together and went to set up at the venue. While we were doing that, Bo disappeared with the manager and came back half an hour later much happier. The manager was happier too and gave us a round of drinks. For some reason, Ricky was annoyed about all this.

The show went great, and we all had a fine time creating our own after-hours party on the plaza.









Ricky got a little nervous when the cops came, but Nevin used his fairy magic to make them happy, and they ended up joining the fun. We danced, sang, and played music until the sun came up over the mountains and the native women arrived with their colorful blankets and hand-made jewelry to sell.

I bought a silver bracelet to remember the night by.

Tour: Day Two

Roswell, New Mexico

Man, last night in San Angelo was great! We rocked, and so did those sorority girls! I don’t think they get a lot of fresh acts between spring and summer semester because those kids were wild and they kept me pretty busy between sets, as well as after the show.











Vic had some fun too, and I think Lazaro got himself a chemistry major, but it could’ve been mathematics. It was kind of hard to tell based on what was left. Ricky was pissed and Lazaro apologized for not hiding the body better. Ricky kept saying that wasn’t the point, but it was, of course. If Lazaro had done a better job cleaning up after himself, Ricky would’ve never known and we’d all be happy.

We spent the day on the road again, with Ricky on his computer, yelling at me every half hour about my movies. I told him he could join me and I even said we could act out some of my favorite scenes from Pride and Priapism, but he said no. He’s such a prude.

Tonight’s gig is in Roswell. We’re all pretty excited, hoping we’ll meet some space aliens. It’s always fun to meet a new species. I’m hoping the space girls are sexy. An incubus has his priorities.

Tour: Day One

San Angelo, Texas

We hit the road early, and everyone was grumpy about it, but most of them are nocturnal and went to bed not long after we headed out. I tried to get some work done, but Bo was watching one of his porn videos and it was distracting, to say the least. When it got too bad, I went up front with Calvin so I could watch the scenery go by.









We got to San Angelo on schedule and the gig tonight is at a club that’s popular with the college crowd. It ought to be a good time for everyone but me. I’ll be doing damage control, making sure no one gets hurt. Bo, Vic, and Lazaro are hungry after a day on the road. They understand in theory why they shouldn’t feed on their fans, but when you’re immortal, or close to it, self-control isn’t a very important virtue. I mean, it’s not like someone’s going to throw a vampire in jail or something.

But they could throw me in jail. Great job I have, isn’t it?

Maelstrom Tour: Preparations

I spent today packing my equipment and watching Calvin and the other werewolves load the tour bus. They’re very particular about how they do it, which is a good thing because some of the band members worry. Like Lazaro. He would rather his drums be on the bus where he can see them, but this time Kalila said no and meant it, so he had to watch everything Calvin did as he stowed them underneath. It was quite exasperating for Calvin, and Ricky had to go the store twice for hamburger meat to calm him down.











Some of our guitars. Lazaro didn't want me taking pictures of his drums.

Finally we were all packed and everyone is happy now. Ricky is the only one who seems a little nervous. He thought we should have a tour manager so he could stay home and work on our publicity. Last month he was all ready to hire one, but then Kalila reminded him what happened to the last one. (It was so unfortunate, and I do hope Thomas is found someday.) Then she took Ricky into a rehearsal room for awhile, just the two of them, and when they came out he was much happier. He’s worried again now, though. I'm sure it will all be fine, though.

We're going to have a great tour!