NOTE: The Bunny Benefit Bash is now officially over, but the party is archived in the sidebar under "Reviews, Concerts and Sightings." If you attended the party and signed the guest book, read on to see if you won a prize.
The Prize Drawing
Ricky: (Go on. You’re supposed to be the front man, so say it.)
Vic: (I’m going to get you for this, Ricky. And the rest of you, too.) Hi, everyone! I just want to take a minute to thank you all for coming out here this weekend. We hope you had a great time helping raise funds for a good cause.
Nevin: The bunnies at Rabbit Rescue of Ontario!
Vic: Uh, right. Even though we got kicked out of Canada. No hard feelings.
Bo: It could’ve happened to anyone.
Kalila: (No, sleazy, it could’ve only happened to you. Now, shut up.)
Vic: We have a few prizes we want to announce. In the Bunny Rocker category, which is only for our performers, we have some rock star picture frames. Nevin, please tell us who the winners are.
Nevin: I got one of the bunnies to draw from a hat. And the winners are Sam, Mario, and Elvis!
Vic: Bunnies, have your humans give us your mailing address, and these will go out in the next few days. Now for the guest prizes. First, we have a selection of bunny-themed treats for humans.
Bo: That would be me!
Kalila: You’re not bunny-themed.
Bo: I’ll wear a costume, if it will turn them on. I’m here to please.
Vic: Actually, the prize is candy, not an incubus bass player. And the winner is…come on, Nevin. Who is it?
Nevin: Lily from Ontario!
Vic: Congratulations, Lily. We’ll put you in touch with the prize donor after we finish up here tonight. The next prize is a Bunny Benefit Bash t-shirt.
Nevin: The winner is Ariel from Michigan!
Vic: Great. Let us know what style and size you want, and where to send it. Next we have two hand-knitted bunnies.
Nevin: They’re from the UK, so they’re extra-special.
Vic: Just tell us who the winners are, please.
Nevin: Amy from San Diego and Beezer from San Francisco!
Vic: Congratulations to our guests from California. And finally, the grand prize is a Moku Hanga woodblock print by the very talented artist, Diana Moll.
Nevin: Wow, this is lovely. I wish I could keep it.
Kalila: Buy your own off her Etsy site. Now go on, announce the winner.
Nevin: The winner is: Carrots from Brighton in the UK!
Vic: Congratulations, Carrots. I’m sure it will look terrific on your human's wall. (Hey, Ricky, that’s what humans usually do with these things, right?)
Ricky: (Yes, Vic. Please continue.)
Vic: And that’s it for the prizes—
Nevin: The best prize is that we raised money for the bunnies!
Vic: Uh, sure.
Kalila: It is, Vic. Give me that microphone, if you’re too cool a vampire to be enthusiastic about this. Hi, everyone! We’re really excited to see how many of you came out here this weekend to support the bunnies and to support us. Rabbits make terrific pets, but they’re not for everyone. They’re a commitment and a responsibility, like any other living creature. I know this because I have a pet of my own, and he’s a lot of trouble.
Ricky: (Kalila, I am not a pet.)
Kalila: More trouble than you can possibly imagine. But having a pet is rewarding too, so if you think a rabbit is what you want, study up on it, like I did with my human.
Ricky: (I’m going to kill you, Kalila.)
Kalila: (Good luck with that. I’m immortal.) Folks, there are organizations in your home town that can teach you about rabbits and help you decide if it’s the right pet for you. Or do some research online. Even if a rabbit in your home isn’t the right choice, you can sponsor one online or donate to one of the many fine organizations that help bunnies. Just remember that all living creatures deserve our support. We all have the same creator and we have to share this planet, so let’s make it a better place for all of us.
Nevin: (Uh, Kalila? You’re forgetting something.)
Kalila: (I am? Oh, yes.) Bunnies Rock!
Ricky: Well, that’s it folks! We have to-go containers if anyone wants to take some leftovers home with them. Be sure to check back here on Thursday, April 2nd, for a re-cap and information about when the Bunny Benefit Bash scrapbook will be online! Good night, everyone. Bunnies Rock!
Welcome to the Bunny Benefit Bash!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
reviews (Comments): 18
The March 2009 Bunny Benefit Bash is now over, but if you missed the party, you can still enjoy the show!
Aren't our bunny rockers great?
The party included this terrific buffet of bunny favorites!
At the end of our weekend-long event, we had a prize giveaway to randomly selected guests and bunny rockers. Read about the awards ceremony here.
You may have missed the party, but you can still buy a t-shirt and read some of the stories about Maelstrom.
Check out the bunny charities we support and make a donation. There are always bunnies in need, and we don't need to have a big party to give them our support!
And in case you're wondering how this all began, here are the stories about how Maelstrom decided to do a bunny charity concert:
Bunnies Rock! (Part One)
Bunnies Rock! (Part Two)
Bunnies Rock! (Part Three)
Bunnies Rock! (Part Four)
We're sorry you missed the party, but we hope you agree...Bunnies Rock!
Aren't our bunny rockers great?
The party included this terrific buffet of bunny favorites!
At the end of our weekend-long event, we had a prize giveaway to randomly selected guests and bunny rockers. Read about the awards ceremony here.
You may have missed the party, but you can still buy a t-shirt and read some of the stories about Maelstrom.
Check out the bunny charities we support and make a donation. There are always bunnies in need, and we don't need to have a big party to give them our support!
And in case you're wondering how this all began, here are the stories about how Maelstrom decided to do a bunny charity concert:
Bunnies Rock! (Part One)
Bunnies Rock! (Part Two)
Bunnies Rock! (Part Three)
Bunnies Rock! (Part Four)
We're sorry you missed the party, but we hope you agree...Bunnies Rock!
Bunny Benefit Bash: The Buffet!
Friday, March 27, 2009
reviews (Comments): 7
Belly right on up to the buffet, folks!
You'll see we have a nice selection of greens for you.
Or you can order a special salad delivered to your table.
Enjoy a refreshing glass of wine...
...or beer.
And nibble a few crackers while you chat with your friends.
We hope you saved room for dessert!
We hope you enjoyed your meal!
You'll see we have a nice selection of greens for you.
Or you can order a special salad delivered to your table.
Enjoy a refreshing glass of wine...
...or beer.
And nibble a few crackers while you chat with your friends.
We hope you saved room for dessert!
We hope you enjoyed your meal!
Maelstrom Announcements
Hi, this is Ricky, just sharing the latest.
First, Jeff Truitt's review is now posted. Check it out if you haven't had a chance.
Second, I've asked Bo to talk to Johnny Del Rio about getting permission for us to re-post some of the articles he wrote about us for Out on the Town. In case anyone is wondering why I put Bo in charge of this, you'd best ask him. I don't want to know the details of what an incubus gets up to in his spare time, but all those roses from Johnny have got to mean something.
Next, I've discovered Nevin is keeping a scrapbook of the band's tours and I've asked to share some of it here. The link is currently at the bottom of the page and will be moved to a more prominent place after the bunny benefit is over.
Finally, I see we've had fans reading these stories that keep appearing on this site. I'm still trying to get to the bottom of it, so in the meantime, don't believe everything you read. Please. You have no idea what our lawyer is charging us just to keep her on retainer.
I'll close this post with something Lazaro just handed me. I'm sure this is just his idea of a joke, right Lazaro?
Zombie Haiku: Bunnies vs Humans
Bunnies good.
Like a snack.
But human brains taste better.
If you like thistravesty poem, let Lazaro know. In fact, I recommend you say you like it, whether you do or not. He might just know where you live.
First, Jeff Truitt's review is now posted. Check it out if you haven't had a chance.
Second, I've asked Bo to talk to Johnny Del Rio about getting permission for us to re-post some of the articles he wrote about us for Out on the Town. In case anyone is wondering why I put Bo in charge of this, you'd best ask him. I don't want to know the details of what an incubus gets up to in his spare time, but all those roses from Johnny have got to mean something.
Next, I've discovered Nevin is keeping a scrapbook of the band's tours and I've asked to share some of it here. The link is currently at the bottom of the page and will be moved to a more prominent place after the bunny benefit is over.
Finally, I see we've had fans reading these stories that keep appearing on this site. I'm still trying to get to the bottom of it, so in the meantime, don't believe everything you read. Please. You have no idea what our lawyer is charging us just to keep her on retainer.
I'll close this post with something Lazaro just handed me. I'm sure this is just his idea of a joke, right Lazaro?
Zombie Haiku: Bunnies vs Humans
Bunnies good.
Like a snack.
But human brains taste better.
If you like this
Maelstrom Extra: Bunnies Rock! (Part 3)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
reviews (Comments): 8
“So what do you think, guys?” Ricky held up a shirt for the band’s inspection.
“Ridiculous,” Vic muttered.
“Rabbits don’t play guitars,” Lazaro agreed.
Bo shrugged. “If I see anyone tasty wearing one, I’ll just ask them to take it off, so what’s the point?”
Ricky looked at Nevin. “Well? This whole thing was your idea.”
Nevin sighed. “I think it’s a very nice shirt, but…”
“What now?” Kalila said. “Are you still upset that we’ll be donating to the Canadian bunnies?”
“No,” he said earnestly. “I just wish we could donate to all of them.”
“Too late,” Vic snarled. “Rabbit Rescue is already in the credits and on the program. That’s what you get for being reactive instead of an active participant in the process.”
“All the charities are listed on the back,” Ricky reminded him. “You’re doing good work, regardless. And since they take donations through PayPal, the currency exchange shouldn't add any extra layers of complexity to the process.” He set the shirt aside and picked up a pen and piece of paper. “Now, let’s discuss particulars. The event is Saturday, with an encore on Sunday. I’ve bought a guest book for the VIPs, we have prizes, and I’ve arranged catering. All I need now is to know what time you’d like to do the meet and greet.”
Vic gave him a baleful look. “You’re kidding, right? Please don't tell me I have to meet the bunnies.”
“I’d like to meet them,” Bo said. “You called Hef, right? Told him to include Miss January?”
Ricky squirmed. “Right…well, I'm still working on that. His secretary hasn’t gotten back to me, very busy you know, so uh…you may have to go with whatever is available.”
Bo gave a little shrug. “An incubus can always rise to the occasion.”
“I have no doubt.” Ricky looked around the room. “So since no one seems to have a preference, how about I just pick a few times for you to meet your fans and I’ll let you know.”
“As long as it’s after dark,” Vic said with a heavy sigh of resignation.
“And no rabbits,” Lazaro added.
Nevin waved a hand. “But I want to meet the bunnies. What about me?”
Ricky nodded and made a few notes. “Daytime chats, bunnies allowed, Vic and Lazaro can skip. Nighttime chats, no bunnies, but all of you will be there with good attitudes and no excuses. Agreed?”
"I always like to meet my fans," Bo said. "And if any of them want to drop by a little early, I'm available."
Kalila flipped her hair over her shoulder and reached for her guitar. "Don't worry, Ricky. Just give us the dates and times and we'll be there." She glanced at Vic and Lazaro. "We're going to play 'nice human' and be punctual and polite, right guys?"
Lazaro shrugged and looked away.
"Vic?"
He glared from underneath his brows.
"Be a sport," Ricky told him.
"Vampires aren't sports." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'll be there, but I'm making no promises."
To Be Continued...
Bunny Fans! Thanks for your participation in the poll and the Bunnies Rock! video. Watch this space for more information about the benefit, which will begin roughly at 12:01 am US Central Time on Saturday, March 28.
“Ridiculous,” Vic muttered.
“Rabbits don’t play guitars,” Lazaro agreed.
Bo shrugged. “If I see anyone tasty wearing one, I’ll just ask them to take it off, so what’s the point?”
Ricky looked at Nevin. “Well? This whole thing was your idea.”
Nevin sighed. “I think it’s a very nice shirt, but…”
“What now?” Kalila said. “Are you still upset that we’ll be donating to the Canadian bunnies?”
“No,” he said earnestly. “I just wish we could donate to all of them.”
“Too late,” Vic snarled. “Rabbit Rescue is already in the credits and on the program. That’s what you get for being reactive instead of an active participant in the process.”
“All the charities are listed on the back,” Ricky reminded him. “You’re doing good work, regardless. And since they take donations through PayPal, the currency exchange shouldn't add any extra layers of complexity to the process.” He set the shirt aside and picked up a pen and piece of paper. “Now, let’s discuss particulars. The event is Saturday, with an encore on Sunday. I’ve bought a guest book for the VIPs, we have prizes, and I’ve arranged catering. All I need now is to know what time you’d like to do the meet and greet.”
Vic gave him a baleful look. “You’re kidding, right? Please don't tell me I have to meet the bunnies.”
“I’d like to meet them,” Bo said. “You called Hef, right? Told him to include Miss January?”
Ricky squirmed. “Right…well, I'm still working on that. His secretary hasn’t gotten back to me, very busy you know, so uh…you may have to go with whatever is available.”
Bo gave a little shrug. “An incubus can always rise to the occasion.”
“I have no doubt.” Ricky looked around the room. “So since no one seems to have a preference, how about I just pick a few times for you to meet your fans and I’ll let you know.”
“As long as it’s after dark,” Vic said with a heavy sigh of resignation.
“And no rabbits,” Lazaro added.
Nevin waved a hand. “But I want to meet the bunnies. What about me?”
Ricky nodded and made a few notes. “Daytime chats, bunnies allowed, Vic and Lazaro can skip. Nighttime chats, no bunnies, but all of you will be there with good attitudes and no excuses. Agreed?”
"I always like to meet my fans," Bo said. "And if any of them want to drop by a little early, I'm available."
Kalila flipped her hair over her shoulder and reached for her guitar. "Don't worry, Ricky. Just give us the dates and times and we'll be there." She glanced at Vic and Lazaro. "We're going to play 'nice human' and be punctual and polite, right guys?"
Lazaro shrugged and looked away.
"Vic?"
He glared from underneath his brows.
"Be a sport," Ricky told him.
"Vampires aren't sports." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'll be there, but I'm making no promises."
To Be Continued...
Bunny Fans! Thanks for your participation in the poll and the Bunnies Rock! video. Watch this space for more information about the benefit, which will begin roughly at 12:01 am US Central Time on Saturday, March 28.
Maelstrom Extra: Bunnies Rock! (part 2)
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
reviews (Comments): 11
“So we’re all on board with March 28 for the Bunny Benefit?” Ricky asked. “It’s not too late to get the deposit back.”
“I think the event should be for the whole weekend,” Nevin said. “For those who can’t make it on Saturday.”
Vic leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. “What kind of losers can’t make a party on Saturday night? This is a big enough burden on us as it is. We need to get it over with.”
“Will there be enough time for you to get me some real bunnies?” Bo asked. “You know, like Playboy?”
Ricky cut his eyes away. “Uh…we’ll see. No promises, okay?”
“My contract has a catering clause,” Bo reminded him.
“Right.” Ricky looked around the room. “Does anyone have any reasonable requests or objections?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “Good. The twenty-eighth it is.” He glanced at Nevin. “And if there's sufficient interest, maybe we’ll do a Sunday encore. I’ll talk to the venue manager about it. In the meantime, have you decided which charity we’ll be supporting?”
Nevin pulled a crumpled paper out of his pocket and sighed. “I don’t know, Ricky. They’re all so good.”
“So pick one,” Kalila said.
“Well,” he traced a finger down the list. “It would be nice to support a group from near my home. Rabbit and Guinea Pig Welfare and Honeybunnies are both in the UK.”
Vic jumped up. “I have to sing for pigs now, too?” He grabbed the list and started reading. “Friends of Rabbits? Best Friends? Vampires aren’t best friends with anyone, much less these ubiquitous creatures you think are so compelling.” He crumpled the paper and threw it on the floor. This is a stupid idea.”
Kalila flashed him a dirty look, picked up the paper and smoothed it out again. “We’ve got two Rabbit Havens here, one in Washington and one in California.”
“I like California girls,” Bo said.
“You like all of them.” Kalila went back to reading. “Bright Eyes Rabbit Rescue is near Washington DC. That might interest the patriotic types, right, Ricky?”
Ricky shrugged. “I guess.”
“And then there’s Rabbit Rescue, Inc, in Canada.”
“We got kicked out of Canada,” Vic said. “Remember?”
“That doesn’t mean they won’t take our money.” She handed Nevin the list. “Ricky did a good job. Pick one.”
Nevin shifted in his seat. “But if I choose the wrong one—”
“They’re all wrong,” Vic snarled. “It’s not natural for us to be doing something for bunnies. We should be feeding them to the werewolves at the full moon, not hosting concerts for them. Just make up your mind so we can end this meeting.”
While Nevin sniffled and Kalila patted his shoulder in concern, Ricky said, “Look, they’re all no-kill shelters. No rabbit will die because you chose one place over another. We’ll put the names of all the charities on the back of the t-shirts. It’ll be a little free publicity. So come on. Choose.”
Nevin looked at the paper again and sighed. “Well, okay. But I could use a little help…”
To Be Continued…
Bunny fans, help Nevin make up his mind! Select a charity from the poll in the sidebar. If you need more information, we have a Voter’s Guide available.
“I think the event should be for the whole weekend,” Nevin said. “For those who can’t make it on Saturday.”
Vic leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. “What kind of losers can’t make a party on Saturday night? This is a big enough burden on us as it is. We need to get it over with.”
“Will there be enough time for you to get me some real bunnies?” Bo asked. “You know, like Playboy?”
Ricky cut his eyes away. “Uh…we’ll see. No promises, okay?”
“My contract has a catering clause,” Bo reminded him.
“Right.” Ricky looked around the room. “Does anyone have any reasonable requests or objections?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “Good. The twenty-eighth it is.” He glanced at Nevin. “And if there's sufficient interest, maybe we’ll do a Sunday encore. I’ll talk to the venue manager about it. In the meantime, have you decided which charity we’ll be supporting?”
Nevin pulled a crumpled paper out of his pocket and sighed. “I don’t know, Ricky. They’re all so good.”
“So pick one,” Kalila said.
“Well,” he traced a finger down the list. “It would be nice to support a group from near my home. Rabbit and Guinea Pig Welfare and Honeybunnies are both in the UK.”
Vic jumped up. “I have to sing for pigs now, too?” He grabbed the list and started reading. “Friends of Rabbits? Best Friends? Vampires aren’t best friends with anyone, much less these ubiquitous creatures you think are so compelling.” He crumpled the paper and threw it on the floor. This is a stupid idea.”
Kalila flashed him a dirty look, picked up the paper and smoothed it out again. “We’ve got two Rabbit Havens here, one in Washington and one in California.”
“I like California girls,” Bo said.
“You like all of them.” Kalila went back to reading. “Bright Eyes Rabbit Rescue is near Washington DC. That might interest the patriotic types, right, Ricky?”
Ricky shrugged. “I guess.”
“And then there’s Rabbit Rescue, Inc, in Canada.”
“We got kicked out of Canada,” Vic said. “Remember?”
“That doesn’t mean they won’t take our money.” She handed Nevin the list. “Ricky did a good job. Pick one.”
Nevin shifted in his seat. “But if I choose the wrong one—”
“They’re all wrong,” Vic snarled. “It’s not natural for us to be doing something for bunnies. We should be feeding them to the werewolves at the full moon, not hosting concerts for them. Just make up your mind so we can end this meeting.”
While Nevin sniffled and Kalila patted his shoulder in concern, Ricky said, “Look, they’re all no-kill shelters. No rabbit will die because you chose one place over another. We’ll put the names of all the charities on the back of the t-shirts. It’ll be a little free publicity. So come on. Choose.”
Nevin looked at the paper again and sighed. “Well, okay. But I could use a little help…”
To Be Continued…
Bunny fans, help Nevin make up his mind! Select a charity from the poll in the sidebar. If you need more information, we have a Voter’s Guide available.
Bunny Benefit Bash Donation Guide
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
reviews (Comments): 3
Our benefit proceeds will be going to the following fine organization:
Rabbit Rescue, Inc. (Ontario)
Famous Residents: Fez, Norbert, Abbey
Make a personal donation to Rabbit Rescue
The following non-profits have also been recommended by the bunny blogosphere and could use your help:
Rabbit Rescue, Inc. (Ontario)
Famous Residents: Fez, Norbert, Abbey
Make a personal donation to Rabbit Rescue
The following non-profits have also been recommended by the bunny blogosphere and could use your help:
- Rabbit and Guinea Pig Welfare
Founded: 1995
Scope: Rugby, UK
Famous Resident: Hugo
- Honeybunnies
Founded: 2005
Scope: Leicestershire and Nottinghamshire, UK
Famous Residents: Miss Eve and Neville
- Rabbit Haven (Gig Harbor, WA)
Founded: 1986
Washington State
Famous Residents: None, but this is in Rabbits Guy's neck of the woods. - Friends of Rabbits of Northern Virginia
Founded 1997
Scope: Northern Virginia and Maryland
Famous Residents: None yet. This is where Fez's biped volunteers! - The Rabbit Haven (Santa Cruz, CA)
Founded: 1991
Scope: Santa Cruz, California, and surrounding area
Famous Residents: Tyler and Sydney
- Best Friends Bunny House
Founded: 1980s
Scope: USA, primarily the western states
Famous Residents: None, but check their online newsletter! - Bright Eyes Rabbit Rescue
Founded
Scope: Maryland, Northern Virginia
Famous Resident: Pink
Maelstrom Extra: Bunnies Rock! (Part 1)
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
reviews (Comments): 12
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the first in our Bunny Benefit Bash series. Read on to find out how you can help save the bunnies and make your rabbit a rock star!
Ricky struggled with the studio door, encumbered by a laptop slung over his shoulder and a box of promotional materials from the Lupine Defense League. He stumbled inside, only to drop the box on his foot.
A few feet away, Calvin looked up from watching Werewolf Recluse II: New Moon on a portable DVD player. “You should be more careful, human.”
“I don’t suppose you could’ve held the door.”
“I didn’t feel like it.”
Ricky set the box on the desk. “It was your idea that we sponsor a wolf charity. If you’re not going to help, I’ll tell the band they should do something else—Toys for Tots, maybe.”
While Calvin grumbled and tore open the box, Ricky went to check on the band. They were supposed to be practicing, but it sounded like someone had lost their temper. He paused outside the rehearsal room.
“Just play the stupid song, Nevin.”
“I’m not feeling it.”
“Fake it.”
“I can’t. I want to play slow, sad songs today.”
“You’re in the wrong band for that, so try again. Carrion Road, from the top.”
“But Vic—”
Ricky pushed open the door. “Okay, guys. What’s going on?”
Vic stepped away from the mic and waved an arm in disgust. “Tinkerbell here keeps missing notes.”
“He’s being a prissy whiner,” Bo added.
Kalila nodded. “He’s not up to par, and he’s not even making a good faith effort.”
“Something’s wrong with his brain,” Lazaro muttered.
Ricky looked at Nevin in concern. “What’s up?”
Nevin traced a finger across his keyboard. “I’m very depressed.”
Ricky waited for a moment, hoping he would elaborate. “Maybe it will cheer you up to know our promo materials arrived today. We’ll be able to start pitching the wolf charity again. Think how many wolves you’ll be saving.”
Nevin’s lower lip trembled and he dropped to the floor in tears.
Ricky turned to Kalila in alarm. “Did I say something wrong?”
She set her guitar in its stand and crouched by Nevin’s side. “He finished reading Watership Down last night. He’s worried about rabbits now, and the wolf charity—”
“Wolves eat bunnies!” Nevin wailed.
Ricky took a deep breath. “Well, yes. But it’s all part of nature, you know, and there’s plenty of bunnies left.”
“They breed like rabbits,” Bo pointed out.
Nevin sobbed harder, and Kalila tried to soothe him.
“Now he thinks every rabbit has a unique personality,” Vic sneered. To Nevin, he added, “Didn’t I tell you not to read books? They only give you ideas.”
“That’s not always a bad thing,” Bo told him. “I got a lot of good ideas from The Story of O.”
“Enough,” Ricky told him. He sat by Nevin’s side, hoping to cajole him into a better mood. “There’s lots of rabbit charities. I could find a few for you to choose from, and at your next show—”
“Forget it,” Vic said. “I’m not doing a ‘Save the Bunnies’ campaign.”
Bo gave a little shrug. “I could go for it. They like sex, I like sex…rabbits are cool.”
Lazaro stomped on his bass drum pedal. “They eat vegetables and have tiny brains.”
“How does that differ from Ricky?” Bo said. “I’m telling you, this could work.”
By now Nevin had quit crying and was wiping his eyes. “You guys really think so?”
“We’ll do a bunny benefit, just for you,” Kalila said.
Vic scowled. “But only this once, glitterboy. After that, your rodents are on their own.”
“They’re not rodents,” Nevin said. “Rabbits are lagomorphs.” He gave Ricky a tenuous smile. “So you’ll find us a good rabbit charity? You really want to help?”
Ricky met Kalila’s eyes to confirm it was what she wanted. Then he patted Nevin on the shoulder. “I’ll find some reputable charities for you to choose from, and we’ll organize a…Bunny Benefit Bash. How does that sound?”
Vic threw himself into a chair and pouted. “It sounds ridiculous.”
“No,” Nevin said, “It sounds wonderful.”
To Be Continued...
Attention Bunny-Fans! Do you have a favorite rabbit charity? Ricky needs your recommendations! Leave details in the comments below or in the tag box on the right. You can also email your recommendation to uhamp "at" yahoo "dot" com. Do you have a bunny who'd like to be a rock star? Tell us where to find lapine talent for the upcoming Bunnies That Rock music video!
Ricky struggled with the studio door, encumbered by a laptop slung over his shoulder and a box of promotional materials from the Lupine Defense League. He stumbled inside, only to drop the box on his foot.
A few feet away, Calvin looked up from watching Werewolf Recluse II: New Moon on a portable DVD player. “You should be more careful, human.”
“I don’t suppose you could’ve held the door.”
“I didn’t feel like it.”
Ricky set the box on the desk. “It was your idea that we sponsor a wolf charity. If you’re not going to help, I’ll tell the band they should do something else—Toys for Tots, maybe.”
While Calvin grumbled and tore open the box, Ricky went to check on the band. They were supposed to be practicing, but it sounded like someone had lost their temper. He paused outside the rehearsal room.
“Just play the stupid song, Nevin.”
“I’m not feeling it.”
“Fake it.”
“I can’t. I want to play slow, sad songs today.”
“You’re in the wrong band for that, so try again. Carrion Road, from the top.”
“But Vic—”
Ricky pushed open the door. “Okay, guys. What’s going on?”
Vic stepped away from the mic and waved an arm in disgust. “Tinkerbell here keeps missing notes.”
“He’s being a prissy whiner,” Bo added.
Kalila nodded. “He’s not up to par, and he’s not even making a good faith effort.”
“Something’s wrong with his brain,” Lazaro muttered.
Ricky looked at Nevin in concern. “What’s up?”
Nevin traced a finger across his keyboard. “I’m very depressed.”
Ricky waited for a moment, hoping he would elaborate. “Maybe it will cheer you up to know our promo materials arrived today. We’ll be able to start pitching the wolf charity again. Think how many wolves you’ll be saving.”
Nevin’s lower lip trembled and he dropped to the floor in tears.
Ricky turned to Kalila in alarm. “Did I say something wrong?”
She set her guitar in its stand and crouched by Nevin’s side. “He finished reading Watership Down last night. He’s worried about rabbits now, and the wolf charity—”
“Wolves eat bunnies!” Nevin wailed.
Ricky took a deep breath. “Well, yes. But it’s all part of nature, you know, and there’s plenty of bunnies left.”
“They breed like rabbits,” Bo pointed out.
Nevin sobbed harder, and Kalila tried to soothe him.
“Now he thinks every rabbit has a unique personality,” Vic sneered. To Nevin, he added, “Didn’t I tell you not to read books? They only give you ideas.”
“That’s not always a bad thing,” Bo told him. “I got a lot of good ideas from The Story of O.”
“Enough,” Ricky told him. He sat by Nevin’s side, hoping to cajole him into a better mood. “There’s lots of rabbit charities. I could find a few for you to choose from, and at your next show—”
“Forget it,” Vic said. “I’m not doing a ‘Save the Bunnies’ campaign.”
Bo gave a little shrug. “I could go for it. They like sex, I like sex…rabbits are cool.”
Lazaro stomped on his bass drum pedal. “They eat vegetables and have tiny brains.”
“How does that differ from Ricky?” Bo said. “I’m telling you, this could work.”
By now Nevin had quit crying and was wiping his eyes. “You guys really think so?”
“We’ll do a bunny benefit, just for you,” Kalila said.
Vic scowled. “But only this once, glitterboy. After that, your rodents are on their own.”
“They’re not rodents,” Nevin said. “Rabbits are lagomorphs.” He gave Ricky a tenuous smile. “So you’ll find us a good rabbit charity? You really want to help?”
Ricky met Kalila’s eyes to confirm it was what she wanted. Then he patted Nevin on the shoulder. “I’ll find some reputable charities for you to choose from, and we’ll organize a…Bunny Benefit Bash. How does that sound?”
Vic threw himself into a chair and pouted. “It sounds ridiculous.”
“No,” Nevin said, “It sounds wonderful.”
To Be Continued...
Attention Bunny-Fans! Do you have a favorite rabbit charity? Ricky needs your recommendations! Leave details in the comments below or in the tag box on the right. You can also email your recommendation to uhamp "at" yahoo "dot" com. Do you have a bunny who'd like to be a rock star? Tell us where to find lapine talent for the upcoming Bunnies That Rock music video!
Maelstrom Extra: Damage Control
Saturday, March 7, 2009
reviews (Comments): 4
Ricky walked into the studio lounge and assessed. Vic was slumped in a chair, Bo lay on the sofa, drowsily poring over a sex toy catalog, and Lazaro had inexplicably brought his bass drum to the meeting and sat dozing against it. Only Nevin seemed to notice or care that Ricky had arrived, and his perky smile was strained.
“Glad you all could make it,” Ricky said, pretending he had everyone’s attention. “Where’s Kalila?”
Vic opened one eye and gestured at the lamp on the coffee table.
Ricky picked it up and rubbed it with his cuff. “Wake up. Meeting, remember?”
“You're being too nice,” Vic snarled. He grabbed the lamp and shook it. “Get out of there, bitch, so we can have this meeting and go to bed!”
Sparks and smoke erupted out of the lamp and Vic dropped it to the table with a clatter.
“You blood-sucking bastard!” Kalila morphed out of the smoke and advanced on Vic in a blaze of djinn fury. “One of these days I’ll stake you and then you’ll be sorry.”
“You think I’m afraid of you? You’re just a freak who eats air.”
“You should be scared, because—”
Ricky waved his hands. “Could you two save it until after the meeting? I don’t want to be here either, so listen up, because this is important.”
Kalila folded her arms and gave him a cool look while Vic slinked back to his chair and feigned boredom.
“It’s about what happened at the show last night.” Ricky wished he felt certain of everyone’s attention, but Bo was perusing his catalog again, Lazaro was toying with a drum stick, and Vic was pretending fascination with a ceiling panel. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t care whose meal you thought she was, but I’ve talked to your lawyer and she suggested we pay the medical bills as a goodwill gesture.”
Kalila shrugged. “So do it.”
“We have no use for money,” Vic added, “Other than to buy off whiney humans. She didn’t even taste good.”
Bo frowned. “I thought she did. And money has other uses, like for buying things out of this catalog. The ‘Deluxe Dominator 3’ costs $29.95.”
“Shipping and handling?”
“Shipping is $4.95. I’ll do the handling myself.”
“Uh, guys,” Ricky said, “I think we’ve wandered off topic. The reason I called this meeting was to remind you how important it is to be careful with your fans. Between the lawyer, the medical bills, the possible lawsuit—”
“And bribing the witnesses,” Vic added.
“I ate two of them,” Lazaro said.
Vic brightened. “There you go, Ricky. We’re saving money already.”
Ricky bit his lip and considered. Was this conversation worth pursuing? Could he ever hope to make them understand?
As if reading his mind, Kalila said, “We get it, Ricky. Really. But damage control is part of your job. It’s in your contract.” When he didn’t answer, she flipped her hair over her shoulder and smiled. “So other than the incident with the girl, what did you think of the show? We rocked, didn’t we?”
Ricky started to say something cutting, but caught himself. What would be the point? “Yeah,” he admitted. “You rock.”
“Glad you all could make it,” Ricky said, pretending he had everyone’s attention. “Where’s Kalila?”
Vic opened one eye and gestured at the lamp on the coffee table.
Ricky picked it up and rubbed it with his cuff. “Wake up. Meeting, remember?”
“You're being too nice,” Vic snarled. He grabbed the lamp and shook it. “Get out of there, bitch, so we can have this meeting and go to bed!”
Sparks and smoke erupted out of the lamp and Vic dropped it to the table with a clatter.
“You blood-sucking bastard!” Kalila morphed out of the smoke and advanced on Vic in a blaze of djinn fury. “One of these days I’ll stake you and then you’ll be sorry.”
“You think I’m afraid of you? You’re just a freak who eats air.”
“You should be scared, because—”
Ricky waved his hands. “Could you two save it until after the meeting? I don’t want to be here either, so listen up, because this is important.”
Kalila folded her arms and gave him a cool look while Vic slinked back to his chair and feigned boredom.
“It’s about what happened at the show last night.” Ricky wished he felt certain of everyone’s attention, but Bo was perusing his catalog again, Lazaro was toying with a drum stick, and Vic was pretending fascination with a ceiling panel. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t care whose meal you thought she was, but I’ve talked to your lawyer and she suggested we pay the medical bills as a goodwill gesture.”
Kalila shrugged. “So do it.”
“We have no use for money,” Vic added, “Other than to buy off whiney humans. She didn’t even taste good.”
Bo frowned. “I thought she did. And money has other uses, like for buying things out of this catalog. The ‘Deluxe Dominator 3’ costs $29.95.”
“Shipping and handling?”
“Shipping is $4.95. I’ll do the handling myself.”
“Uh, guys,” Ricky said, “I think we’ve wandered off topic. The reason I called this meeting was to remind you how important it is to be careful with your fans. Between the lawyer, the medical bills, the possible lawsuit—”
“And bribing the witnesses,” Vic added.
“I ate two of them,” Lazaro said.
Vic brightened. “There you go, Ricky. We’re saving money already.”
Ricky bit his lip and considered. Was this conversation worth pursuing? Could he ever hope to make them understand?
As if reading his mind, Kalila said, “We get it, Ricky. Really. But damage control is part of your job. It’s in your contract.” When he didn’t answer, she flipped her hair over her shoulder and smiled. “So other than the incident with the girl, what did you think of the show? We rocked, didn’t we?”
Ricky started to say something cutting, but caught himself. What would be the point? “Yeah,” he admitted. “You rock.”
Maelstrom Extra: A Problem
Thursday, March 5, 2009
reviews (Comments): 3
Ricky checked his watch. He was late, but luckily the band was becoming more punctual. It had been awhile since he caught them napping or rambling about in search of prey when they should be getting set up for a show. The sight of the equipment van in the alley reassured him and he waved at one of the werewolf crew before pushing through the service door.
His first order of business was to check in with the manager and exchange the standard pleasantries. Finding no one in the office, Ricky headed toward the club to see how the setup was coming along. The manager would probably be there, and if he wasn’t, someone might know—
“There you are.” Kalila said, appearing out of nowhere like the damnable djinn she was. “We have a problem.”
Ricky looked at her. “Please tell me Bo didn’t already seduce someone.”
“Only one of the cleanup crew.” She waved a hand to dismiss the matter. “No, I’m afraid this is more serious. Lazaro ate—” she called into the darkness of the drummer alcove. “What was his name, again?”
“Ken Blakely!” Lazaro shouted back.
Ricky leaped onto the stage, stomped past Vic and Nevin, and found the drummer placidly hanging a cymbal. “You ate the venue manager? This is a joke, right?”
Lazaro shrugged his big shoulders. “He came back here and messed with my drums.”
Vic stopped adjusting a microphone. “It was his own damn fault. He went back there to look at the drum setup, tripped like the clumsy primate he was, and knocked over the hi-hat.”
“Genuine Zildjian cymbals,” Lazaro muttered.
“But…you don’t avenge simple human mistakes like that. This is totally inappropriate and—”
Lazaro snarled.
“Better watch it,” Vic said, baring his fangs. “You know what he’s like in this kind of mood.”
Regrettably, Ricky did know. “Well …did you at least hide the remains?”
“Of course,” Lazaro snorted. “I’m not stupid.”
“We’re not worried about your human laws and morals,” Kalila said, walking across the stage and picking up her guitar. “And we’re not concerned about tonight. Places like this practically run themselves.”
Ricky ran his fingers through his hair. “Okay, so if you’re not worried about any of the things a normal person would worry about, why did you ruin my day by mentioning it? You said there was a problem.”
“Oh, there’s definitely a problem, human,” Vic said.
Kalila nodded. “Now that the manager is dinner…”
“Please don’t call him that.”
“More like a snack, anyway,” Lazaro said.
“I don’t need to hear—”
“Get over it, human,” Vic snarled.
Ricky turned back to Kalila. “Just tell me what you think the problem is.”
Kalila blinked as if the answer were obvious. “How are we going to get paid?”
His first order of business was to check in with the manager and exchange the standard pleasantries. Finding no one in the office, Ricky headed toward the club to see how the setup was coming along. The manager would probably be there, and if he wasn’t, someone might know—
“There you are.” Kalila said, appearing out of nowhere like the damnable djinn she was. “We have a problem.”
Ricky looked at her. “Please tell me Bo didn’t already seduce someone.”
“Only one of the cleanup crew.” She waved a hand to dismiss the matter. “No, I’m afraid this is more serious. Lazaro ate—” she called into the darkness of the drummer alcove. “What was his name, again?”
“Ken Blakely!” Lazaro shouted back.
Ricky leaped onto the stage, stomped past Vic and Nevin, and found the drummer placidly hanging a cymbal. “You ate the venue manager? This is a joke, right?”
Lazaro shrugged his big shoulders. “He came back here and messed with my drums.”
Vic stopped adjusting a microphone. “It was his own damn fault. He went back there to look at the drum setup, tripped like the clumsy primate he was, and knocked over the hi-hat.”
“Genuine Zildjian cymbals,” Lazaro muttered.
“But…you don’t avenge simple human mistakes like that. This is totally inappropriate and—”
Lazaro snarled.
“Better watch it,” Vic said, baring his fangs. “You know what he’s like in this kind of mood.”
Regrettably, Ricky did know. “Well …did you at least hide the remains?”
“Of course,” Lazaro snorted. “I’m not stupid.”
“We’re not worried about your human laws and morals,” Kalila said, walking across the stage and picking up her guitar. “And we’re not concerned about tonight. Places like this practically run themselves.”
Ricky ran his fingers through his hair. “Okay, so if you’re not worried about any of the things a normal person would worry about, why did you ruin my day by mentioning it? You said there was a problem.”
“Oh, there’s definitely a problem, human,” Vic said.
Kalila nodded. “Now that the manager is dinner…”
“Please don’t call him that.”
“More like a snack, anyway,” Lazaro said.
“I don’t need to hear—”
“Get over it, human,” Vic snarled.
Ricky turned back to Kalila. “Just tell me what you think the problem is.”
Kalila blinked as if the answer were obvious. “How are we going to get paid?”
Maelstrom Extra: Once Lost, Twice Found
Sunday, March 1, 2009
reviews (Comments): 3
Ricky fumbled in the dresser drawer, thinking how he needed to do laundry since most of his clean socks were old, the wrong color, or had holes. He found a pair that might do, but when he pulled the balled socks apart, something fell out.
It was a watch.
Not just any watch, but a stainless steel Omega with gold markers and hands. It had a clean, futuristic design common to when it was made in the 1950s. And Ricky knew when it had been made because it had been his father’s watch, and his grandfather’s.
That was a problem.
Ricky now remembered having wedged the watch into a sock in his suitcase when they stayed at a questionable hotel on tour nearly a year ago. He then promptly forgot what he had done and tore the room apart, convinced that it had been lost or stolen. Distraught and irritable, he moped at concerts and snapped at the band until a week later, Kalila casually handed him the watch, saying Nevin had found it on the tour bus. How it got there, Ricky wasn’t sure, nor did he care. He was so thrilled to have it back he didn’t question her story, but now…
He set the watch on the bed and opened another drawer. And yes, here was the watch again. He held it to the light. Same steel case, same gold dial, even the same patina on the back and wear on the leather strap.
He laid it next to the other and examined them side-by-side. Even the nick in the crystal was the same.
This would never do.
He tugged on his socks, and found his shoes and jacket. Then he shoved both watches in his pocket, grabbed his keys, and headed out to the car. But as he slammed the car door shut and reached for the seatbelt, a thought struck him. Yes, the band had lied to him, and maybe they had replaced his watch just so he would shut up about it. But there was a sweetness to the gesture, too. There were other ways they could’ve dealt with his moping than by conjuring an exact replica so he could be happy again.
And it was an exact replica. He dug in his pocket and pulled out the two watches, marveling all over again at how alike they were. In fact, there was no way to tell which was which.
No way at all.
For a long moment, he sat numbed by his own stupidity. Then he picked one, wound it up, and held it to his ear, charmed as he had been as a child, by its ticking.
Lost once, found twice, and both times special.
It was a watch.
Not just any watch, but a stainless steel Omega with gold markers and hands. It had a clean, futuristic design common to when it was made in the 1950s. And Ricky knew when it had been made because it had been his father’s watch, and his grandfather’s.
That was a problem.
Ricky now remembered having wedged the watch into a sock in his suitcase when they stayed at a questionable hotel on tour nearly a year ago. He then promptly forgot what he had done and tore the room apart, convinced that it had been lost or stolen. Distraught and irritable, he moped at concerts and snapped at the band until a week later, Kalila casually handed him the watch, saying Nevin had found it on the tour bus. How it got there, Ricky wasn’t sure, nor did he care. He was so thrilled to have it back he didn’t question her story, but now…
He set the watch on the bed and opened another drawer. And yes, here was the watch again. He held it to the light. Same steel case, same gold dial, even the same patina on the back and wear on the leather strap.
He laid it next to the other and examined them side-by-side. Even the nick in the crystal was the same.
This would never do.
He tugged on his socks, and found his shoes and jacket. Then he shoved both watches in his pocket, grabbed his keys, and headed out to the car. But as he slammed the car door shut and reached for the seatbelt, a thought struck him. Yes, the band had lied to him, and maybe they had replaced his watch just so he would shut up about it. But there was a sweetness to the gesture, too. There were other ways they could’ve dealt with his moping than by conjuring an exact replica so he could be happy again.
And it was an exact replica. He dug in his pocket and pulled out the two watches, marveling all over again at how alike they were. In fact, there was no way to tell which was which.
No way at all.
For a long moment, he sat numbed by his own stupidity. Then he picked one, wound it up, and held it to his ear, charmed as he had been as a child, by its ticking.
Lost once, found twice, and both times special.
