Maelstrom Extra: Bunnies Rock! (Part 1)

Wednesday, March 11, 2009 reviews (Comments): 12
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the first in our Bunny Benefit Bash series. Read on to find out how you can help save the bunnies and make your rabbit a rock star!

Ricky struggled with the studio door, encumbered by a laptop slung over his shoulder and a box of promotional materials from the Lupine Defense League. He stumbled inside, only to drop the box on his foot.

A few feet away, Calvin looked up from watching Werewolf Recluse II: New Moon on a portable DVD player. “You should be more careful, human.”

“I don’t suppose you could’ve held the door.”

“I didn’t feel like it.”

Ricky set the box on the desk. “It was your idea that we sponsor a wolf charity. If you’re not going to help, I’ll tell the band they should do something else—Toys for Tots, maybe.”

While Calvin grumbled and tore open the box, Ricky went to check on the band. They were supposed to be practicing, but it sounded like someone had lost their temper. He paused outside the rehearsal room.

“Just play the stupid song, Nevin.”

“I’m not feeling it.”

“Fake it.”

“I can’t. I want to play slow, sad songs today.”

“You’re in the wrong band for that, so try again. Carrion Road, from the top.”

“But Vic—”

Ricky pushed open the door. “Okay, guys. What’s going on?”

Vic stepped away from the mic and waved an arm in disgust. “Tinkerbell here keeps missing notes.”

“He’s being a prissy whiner,” Bo added.

Kalila nodded. “He’s not up to par, and he’s not even making a good faith effort.”

“Something’s wrong with his brain,” Lazaro muttered.

Ricky looked at Nevin in concern. “What’s up?”

Nevin traced a finger across his keyboard. “I’m very depressed.”

Ricky waited for a moment, hoping he would elaborate. “Maybe it will cheer you up to know our promo materials arrived today. We’ll be able to start pitching the wolf charity again. Think how many wolves you’ll be saving.”

Nevin’s lower lip trembled and he dropped to the floor in tears.

Ricky turned to Kalila in alarm. “Did I say something wrong?”

She set her guitar in its stand and crouched by Nevin’s side. “He finished reading Watership Down last night. He’s worried about rabbits now, and the wolf charity—”

“Wolves eat bunnies!” Nevin wailed.

Ricky took a deep breath. “Well, yes. But it’s all part of nature, you know, and there’s plenty of bunnies left.”

“They breed like rabbits,” Bo pointed out.

Nevin sobbed harder, and Kalila tried to soothe him.

“Now he thinks every rabbit has a unique personality,” Vic sneered. To Nevin, he added, “Didn’t I tell you not to read books? They only give you ideas.”

“That’s not always a bad thing,” Bo told him. “I got a lot of good ideas from The Story of O.”

“Enough,” Ricky told him. He sat by Nevin’s side, hoping to cajole him into a better mood. “There’s lots of rabbit charities. I could find a few for you to choose from, and at your next show—”

“Forget it,” Vic said. “I’m not doing a ‘Save the Bunnies’ campaign.”

Bo gave a little shrug. “I could go for it. They like sex, I like sex…rabbits are cool.”

Lazaro stomped on his bass drum pedal. “They eat vegetables and have tiny brains.”

“How does that differ from Ricky?” Bo said. “I’m telling you, this could work.”

By now Nevin had quit crying and was wiping his eyes. “You guys really think so?”

“We’ll do a bunny benefit, just for you,” Kalila said.

Vic scowled. “But only this once, glitterboy. After that, your rodents are on their own.”

“They’re not rodents,” Nevin said. “Rabbits are lagomorphs.” He gave Ricky a tenuous smile. “So you’ll find us a good rabbit charity? You really want to help?”

Ricky met Kalila’s eyes to confirm it was what she wanted. Then he patted Nevin on the shoulder. “I’ll find some reputable charities for you to choose from, and we’ll organize a…Bunny Benefit Bash. How does that sound?”

Vic threw himself into a chair and pouted. “It sounds ridiculous.”

“No,” Nevin said, “It sounds wonderful.”

To Be Continued...

Attention Bunny-Fans! Do you have a favorite rabbit charity? Ricky needs your recommendations! Leave details in the comments below or in the tag box on the right. You can also email your recommendation to uhamp "at" yahoo "dot" com. Do you have a bunny who'd like to be a rock star? Tell us where to find lapine talent for the upcoming Bunnies That Rock music video!

reviews (Comments): 12

Thomma Lyn :

Bwahahahahaha!!!!! Wonderfully done, with so many laugh-out-loud lines. This Bunny Bash is gonna be a blast! Can't wait to meet all the Rabbity Rock Stars. :D

d. moll, :

Our favorite is The Rabbit Haven, 'cause that's where Tyler and Sydney came from. And they want to be rock stars, for sure, feel free to appropriate their images.

Fez and the Gang :

I have two! In Canada: Rabbit Rescue Inc. and in the USA, Friends of Rabbits of northern Virginia!

Very entertaining, I really enjoyed reading.

ThomG :

Laugh-out-loud funny. Thanks, I really needed a dose of this today. Tough day.

Rabbits' Guy :

We are for Rabbit Haven , in Gig Harbor, Wa. different from The Rabbit Haven in Santa Cruz (D. Moll - above) I think Zoey and Baxter are anxious to try out as rock stars....

YowlYY :

That has all the cards to be a cool story...rock on!
I have two favourite bunny charities I'd like to nominate, both in the UK:
firstly, it is the Rabbit and Guinea Pig Welfare in Rugby (, where we adopted Hugo from, and then Honeybunnies in Leicester (, where Miss Eve and Neville come from.

Anonymous :

Great story! Funny, too!! Sorry I can't help recommend a rabbit shelter.. I'm not familiar with the shelters in US. The FBs wanna be rock buns, though! I'll send you some of their photos soon :D

FrecklesandDeb :

Great story! We were laughin' and laughin' Especially the part about reading giving you ideas! Freckles came from the Humane Society, but they help all kinds of animals, not just bunnies.

Fez and the Gang :

Answering your question guys! We all came from Rabbit Rescue Inc., in Canada, before we moved to Northern VA... and Mom volunteered there a lot. Now she is working with Friends of Rabbits here in VA and it is also a great rescue! They both are volunteer run 100% with foster homes, and are also both non-profits.

Rabbits' Guy :

None of our bunns came from Gig Harbor Rabbit Haven. However, the 4 RenoRabbits did, sort of as a passthrough when all the 1,000 rabbits were rescued a few years ago. I asked her if you could use their names and to contact you, maybe you could contact her too.

Alice Audrey :

It's so totally appropriate that I should discover this today.

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