Maelstrom Extra: Bunnies Rock! (Part 1)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the first in our Bunny Benefit Bash series. Read on to find out how you can help save the bunnies and make your rabbit a rock star!

Ricky struggled with the studio door, encumbered by a laptop slung over his shoulder and a box of promotional materials from the Lupine Defense League. He stumbled inside, only to drop the box on his foot.

A few feet away, Calvin looked up from watching Werewolf Recluse II: New Moon on a portable DVD player. “You should be more careful, human.”

“I don’t suppose you could’ve held the door.”

“I didn’t feel like it.”

Ricky set the box on the desk. “It was your idea that we sponsor a wolf charity. If you’re not going to help, I’ll tell the band they should do something else—Toys for Tots, maybe.”

While Calvin grumbled and tore open the box, Ricky went to check on the band. They were supposed to be practicing, but it sounded like someone had lost their temper. He paused outside the rehearsal room.

“Just play the stupid song, Nevin.”

“I’m not feeling it.”

“Fake it.”

“I can’t. I want to play slow, sad songs today.”

“You’re in the wrong band for that, so try again. Carrion Road, from the top.”

“But Vic—”

Ricky pushed open the door. “Okay, guys. What’s going on?”

Vic stepped away from the mic and waved an arm in disgust. “Tinkerbell here keeps missing notes.”

“He’s being a prissy whiner,” Bo added.

Kalila nodded. “He’s not up to par, and he’s not even making a good faith effort.”

“Something’s wrong with his brain,” Lazaro muttered.

Ricky looked at Nevin in concern. “What’s up?”

Nevin traced a finger across his keyboard. “I’m very depressed.”

Ricky waited for a moment, hoping he would elaborate. “Maybe it will cheer you up to know our promo materials arrived today. We’ll be able to start pitching the wolf charity again. Think how many wolves you’ll be saving.”

Nevin’s lower lip trembled and he dropped to the floor in tears.

Ricky turned to Kalila in alarm. “Did I say something wrong?”

She set her guitar in its stand and crouched by Nevin’s side. “He finished reading Watership Down last night. He’s worried about rabbits now, and the wolf charity—”

“Wolves eat bunnies!” Nevin wailed.

Ricky took a deep breath. “Well, yes. But it’s all part of nature, you know, and there’s plenty of bunnies left.”

“They breed like rabbits,” Bo pointed out.

Nevin sobbed harder, and Kalila tried to soothe him.

“Now he thinks every rabbit has a unique personality,” Vic sneered. To Nevin, he added, “Didn’t I tell you not to read books? They only give you ideas.”

“That’s not always a bad thing,” Bo told him. “I got a lot of good ideas from The Story of O.”

“Enough,” Ricky told him. He sat by Nevin’s side, hoping to cajole him into a better mood. “There’s lots of rabbit charities. I could find a few for you to choose from, and at your next show—”

“Forget it,” Vic said. “I’m not doing a ‘Save the Bunnies’ campaign.”

Bo gave a little shrug. “I could go for it. They like sex, I like sex…rabbits are cool.”

Lazaro stomped on his bass drum pedal. “They eat vegetables and have tiny brains.”

“How does that differ from Ricky?” Bo said. “I’m telling you, this could work.”

By now Nevin had quit crying and was wiping his eyes. “You guys really think so?”

“We’ll do a bunny benefit, just for you,” Kalila said.

Vic scowled. “But only this once, glitterboy. After that, your rodents are on their own.”

“They’re not rodents,” Nevin said. “Rabbits are lagomorphs.” He gave Ricky a tenuous smile. “So you’ll find us a good rabbit charity? You really want to help?”

Ricky met Kalila’s eyes to confirm it was what she wanted. Then he patted Nevin on the shoulder. “I’ll find some reputable charities for you to choose from, and we’ll organize a…Bunny Benefit Bash. How does that sound?”

Vic threw himself into a chair and pouted. “It sounds ridiculous.”

“No,” Nevin said, “It sounds wonderful.”

To Be Continued...

Attention Bunny-Fans! Do you have a favorite rabbit charity? Ricky needs your recommendations! Leave details in the comments below or in the tag box on the right. You can also email your recommendation to uhamp "at" yahoo "dot" com. Do you have a bunny who'd like to be a rock star? Tell us where to find lapine talent for the upcoming Bunnies That Rock music video!