Vic's Thoughts: All Natural Ingredients

So this is what Ricky and Kalila have been sneaking off to do. Here the rest of us thought they were having sex and instead they were doing this blog thing and not telling us about it. Since I was hired to be the front man for this group, I’m offended that I wasn’t included and you can bet I’m going to have a few things to say about it.

But first, I want to respond to my fans who wondered how my organic diet was coming along, as described in All Natural Ingredients. Unfortunately, it’s not as simple as I had hoped it would be. It’s hard enough to find Americans who take care of their bodies by eating clean foods and not taking fifty different types of pills every day. It’s even harder to find a human who hasn’t been poisoned by air, pesticides, lead, mercury, and other environmental contaminants. A lot of these things end up in the blood and I can really taste the difference when I go organic.

It’s especially hard to find an organic meal on the road, where I have no regular suppliers. I do what I can, but I’m not going to starve just because dinner popped a Prozac earlier in the day. My preference, though, is a human female who eats organically and doesn’t take drugs. I find that very attractive, especially if she's blood type O.

I hope I’ve cleared things up. Now I need to find Ricky and Kalila and harass them about this blog thing. Never trust anyone outside your own species!