Ricky's Thoughts: Once to Buy a Mattress

Friday, January 9, 2009 reviews (Comments)
I see that someone has posted a story about the time Bo made me go mattress-shopping. I’m not sure who is writing these stories, but I’m very unhappy with them because they tend to leave out important information. Like the fact that a month after finding “gift” mattresses on my bed, I got my credit card statement and noticed that Mattress Madness had charged me nearly $4,000!

When I asked Bo about it, he told me the American dollar is an illusion and I shouldn’t worry about it. I threatened to tell Kalila how he was acting, and he said she was a figment of my imagination, too. Then he said he was hungry and did I want to go with him to a strip club. I reminded him how he stuck me with the bill the last time and told him to forget it.

Next time he tries to tell me something isn’t real, I think I’ll ask if that applies to my contract, since there are days I think I’d be better off managing a troupe of bi-polar Urdu-speaking trapeze artists.

But enough of that. I need a nap, and at least my bed is comfortable. Maybe the $4,000 was worth it. Just don’t tell Bo I said so.

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